Over the years I have worked with teachers I have repeated this analogy more times than I can count. Today I have decided to share it with you.
Think of each child’s ability to handle difficulties like a milk jug. Let’s pretend that each child’s milk jug is the same size. At the bottom of the milk jug is a hole. This hole is the child’s ability to handle and cope with frustrations. Let’s pretend that all frustrations are the same for every kid in every situation. Depending on the child’s ability to cope will depend on the size of the hole. Kids who have few coping skills get a hole the size of an eraser while the kids with coping skills may have a quarter size hole.
Now every time there is a frustration ½ cup of milk gets poured into the jug with the eraser hole and again into the quarter hole jug. Who’s jug will empty first? The quarter jug, right? Why? Because the kid has more skills to cope with the situation so they can deal with it and move on more quickly than the eraser jug.
Now when the jug gets full and overflows let’s say that is when a kid had a meltdown. Which kid will melt down first? Eraser jud kid right? Why? Because their jug empties more slowly, they take a long time to deal with frustrations and move on. Get the concept? Now let’s make it more real.
Again, all kids have the same size jug , still different size holes in the bottom.
Each kid wakes up for school late (pour in ½ a cup), when they start walking to school (late) it’s raining (pour in ½ a cup). They realize they forgot their backpack (pour in ½ a cup) which means they won’t have their homework to turn in (pour in ½ a cup). They were in a rush (pour in ½ a cup) so they didn’t eat breakfast (pour in ½ a cup) and while they were walking they realized how hungry they are (pour in ½ a cup) because they also didn’t eat dinner last night (pour in ½ a cup). They get to school and realize that other students are laughing at them (pour in ½ a cup) because their shirt is on inside out (pour in ½ a cup). They get to class (late) (pour in ½ a cup) and get marked tardy (pour in ½ a cup).
While both kids are having a bad day, which kid is on the edge of losing it? Eraser jug right? The next move by the teacher will either help the student or pour another ½ into the kid's jug which might cause a meltdown.
In reality though, some kids get a pin prick while others have almost the whole bottom of the jug cut out. As the teacher we can teach kids better coping skills so that their jug hole gets bigger and drains more quickly. We can also add to their frustrations by continuing to pour water in without providing relief. The skill as a teacher is learning which kids have eraser size holes, teaching them skills and diverting any more water being poured into their jug when their jug is mostly full.
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